


Searching for Spiders

by Pisces_writings



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Angst, Blood, Captivity, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Spider Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Spiders, Stabbing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:27:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27392689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pisces_writings/pseuds/Pisces_writings
Summary: Virgil disappeared after Janus got accepted. Now the rest of the sides have to find him and deal with the consequences.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders
Comments: 25
Kudos: 185





	1. A Powerless Search

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place right after Putting Others First, and before Flirting with Social Anxiety. Also, it kind of diverts from cannon.

It was four days after Janus had been accepted. When Patton had told Virgil the news, he had gotten angry and stormed off to his room. That was the last anyone had seen of him. Patton could have gone to check on him, but if he was being honest he was a bit scared to. Virgil had seemed so angry with him. So finally Patton did the responsible thing. He went to talk to Logan. 

Logan opened the door as soon as Patton knocked. "What do you need?"

"Have you seen Virgil?" Patton asked immediately. 

Logan frowned, "I don't believe I have. Why? Did something happen?". 

Patton shifted uncomfortably, "Well. . . Yes. Kind of. I haven't seen him since four days ago. You know, since the whole thing with Janus."

"I see." Logan's expression was unreadable. Patton still couldn't tell what his stance on the entire situation was. He hadn't been too vocal about it. "Perhaps you should ask Roman? If Virgil saw anyone it would be him." 

"Oh. Right." Patton paused. "Could you maybe come with me to ask him? He's not too happy with me right now so- "

"Of course." 

"Right. Thanks."

They didn't find Roman in his room. Instead they found him arguing with his brother in the living room area of the mindscape. 

"Oh, cause it's so bad to be compared to me!" Remus was saying. 

"Yeah, it is! You think I want to be like- " Roman faltered. 

"Like what, Roman? Please, flatter me!" 

Logan cleared his throat and the two twins turned to him. 

"Oh." The malice drained from Roman's face. "Hi Logan." 

"Have either of you seen Virgil?" Logan asked. 

"Nope." Said Remus. "Haven't seen the sulky emo in weeks." 

Roman nodded, "I haven't seen him since. . . You know, the thing." 

Logan frowned, "Well that's worrying." 

"Maybe Janus did something to him." Roman suggested. "It wouldn't be surprising." 

Remus's mace materialized in his hands, "Accuse Janus one more time and I swear to God- " 

"Stop." Logan commanded. 

The brothers stopped glaring at each other. 

"Maybe we should ask Janus." Patton suggested. "I mean, he's the one person we haven't asked yet." 

Roman rolled his eyes at the suggestion, but Logan nodded. "You're right. That would be the best move." 

The four sides ventured to Janus's room together. As it turned out, he didn't know where Virgil was either. 

"Sure you don't." Muttered Roman. "He's one of the people who still doesn't like you, why wouldn't you do something to him?" 

Janus rolled his eyes, "Actually, Roman, I don't wish to dispose of anyone who opposes me." 

"Why wouldn't you? You don't care about anyone but yourself." 

Janus's laugh was colder than ice, "The same could be said about you." 

Before Roman could respond, Patton stepped in. "Let's just focus on finding Virgil." 

Roman crossed his arms, "Of course, you take his side." 

Patton blinked, "I wasn't- " 

Logan put his hand on Patton's arm, "Perhaps we should check his room." 

"He does like sulking in there." Remus agreed. 

Patton sighed, "Right. Let's do that." 

The five of them went to the door of Virgil's room. Logan knocked, and got no answer. 

"Should we just open it?" Roman suggested.

Patton frowned, "I mean, we wouldn't want to intrude- " 

Before he could finish his sentence Roman opened Virgil's door and silence fell over the group. His room was a mess. Not as in he hadn't cleaned it in a month, as in it looked like a rabid animal had torn it apart. The posters were ripped, any pillows that had previously existed were torn to shreds, and the spider webs that usually adorned his room seemed to have multiplied. Even weirder, the wall opposite the door had a giant hole in it, as if a wrecking ball had been swung into it. Through the almost non existent wall the endless plains and forests of the imagination were in plain view. 

Roman walked over to the hole and stared out of it, "An entrance to the imagination like this shouldn't be able to exist."

"And yet it does." Janus stared out into the imagination. From the damaged wall onwards was a path of destruction. Torn up grass and flowers stretched as far as any of them could see. "So we follow him." He stated. 

Roman laughed, "We? Who ever said you were coming?" 

Janus turned on him, "Virgil is most likely mad at me, Roman. Which means I have to be there to apologize to him. That's our only chance of calming him down." 

Roman was about to respond but Logan got there before him. "He's right." 

Roman blinked, "You agree with him?" 

"Why shouldn't- " 

"Then it's settled!" Remus interrupted. "We're all going."

"All of us?" Logan asked. "Why would- " 

"Well Roman has to go cause it's his part of the imagination, Janus has to go to apologize to Virgil, you have to go to stop them from arguing, I have to go to to stop Roman from killing Janus, and Patton just might as well come at this point." 

"I see." Logan didn't seem convinced. "In that case, we should hurry. He's been gone for four days hasn't he? He could be anywhere at this point." 

They followed the path of torn up grass for that seemed like forever. Finally they got to the end. The path simply stopped, with no sign of Virgil. 

"That's weird." Commented Patton. 

"It certainly is." Logan glanced around. "How is it possible for the path to just stop like that?" 

Roman sat down on the ground, "Great, now how are we gonna find him?" He crossed his arms. "No one thought to look for him before this?" 

"Blaming others won't get us anywhere." Logan said. "Thinking of a plan will."

Roman rolled his eyes, "Then what do we do oh great and wise nerd?"

Logan shrugged, "Well it's your imagination. You tell us." 

Roman blinked, "Oh right." 

"Shouldn't you be able to sense him?" Asked Remus. "I mean, I know I can locate people like that on my side." 

Roman looked surprised, "I've never actually thought of that before. Okay, give me a second." He closed his eyes and concentrated. A few moments later he pointed to his right. "That way." 

"Are you sure?" Asked Logan. 

Roman glared at him, "Well it is my imagination, right? Didn't you say that?" 

They followed Roman for about an hour until he froze. 

"What's wrong?" Asked Patton, a worried expression on his face. 

Roman slowly spun around a few times, "He moved. Like he just suddenly appeared somewhere else." 

Logan crossed his arms, "How is that possible?" 

"Hey don't ask me." Roman pointed in a different direction. "He's there now." 

They walked for hours, and Roman kept changing their direction ever so often. When he did it for a seventh time, Remus turned to him. 

"Do you even know where you're going?" 

Roman glared at him, "It's not my fault he keeps moving, and it's not like anyone else is helping."

Remus shrugged, "I mean you're the only one who can locate him, so yeah." 

"Yeah, great excuse. Do any of you even care about finding him?"

Logan frowned, "Roman, we all want to find Virgil." 

Roman laughed bitterly, "Right. Because Janus cares so much about- " 

"I do." Janus snapped.

Roman looked at him skeptically, "Sure." 

Janus smiled cruelly, "Listen, Roman. You don't know the first thing about me so don't act like you do." 

"I know you're a selfish liar." 

Janus pretended to think, "Selfish? Liar? Sounds like you." 

Roman looked like he was about to attack Janus, but Logan stepped in front of him. "Stop." He commanded. "Fighting won't help us find Virgil." He turned to Roman. "Where is he now?"

Roman led them for a while. They went from a grassy plain, to an evergreen forest, and when they had been walking for what seemed like hours Roman suddenly froze. 

"We're really close." He announced. 

Logan nodded, "Then let's go. Before he moves again." 

Roman led them to the entrance of a dark cave, "He's in here." 

They stepped in and everyone gasped. There were scratches running around the walls, as if an angry animal had had a fit. Spider webs clung to every surface, and along them. . . 

Patton whimpered and clung to Logan's arm. 

Spiders. Hundreds of them. Moving like a big furry carpet. 

"Roman?" Patton whimpered. "Are you sure this is the right place?" 

Roman nodded, "He should be right ahead." 

Then they heard a soft hissing coming from the inside of the cave, and Virgil finally emerged. 

Patton squeaked and fully hid behind Logan. 

Virgil had changed. Instead of his brown eyes, he now had eight, with black scleras and purple irises, arranged in two columns, one on each side of his face. From his back protruded eight giant spider legs, with tips as sharp as knives. 

Janus simply stared at him, "That's my fault." He muttered quietly. 

Remus glanced at him, "What? Don't be ridiculous." He hissed. 

Janus shook his head. Then he took a careful step towards Virgil. 

"What are you doing?" Logan whispered. "He could be unstable."

Janus didn't answer, instead walking up to Virgil, "Hello." 

Quicker than any of them could see, Virgil grabbed him by the front of his shirt and aimed one of his eight razor sharp spider legs at him, directly at his chest. 

Janus simply smiled sadly, "Are you alright?" 

Virgil stared at him, not answering. 

Carefully, Janus put a gentle hand on his cheek. "I'm sorry, Virgil. I really am. But please come back to us, we miss you." 

For a second, Virgil's expression softened, and Remus breathed a sigh of relief. 

"It worked." Roman muttered. 

He had spoken too soon. As quick as lightning, Virgil struck, stabbing his knife like spider leg through Janus's chest. 

Remus screamed as he watched Janus crumple to the floor, but before he could do anything, Logan was dragging him away. 

"Let me go!" He yelled. "We can't just leave him!" 

"We have to." He heard Logan say. "Or we might end up like that." 

Logan kept dragging him until they were far away from both the cave and the forest. He let go of him and Remus more or less fell to the ground. 

"We left him." He said in disbelief. "We actually left him." He glares up at the three other sides. "He could be dead! Do any of you even care?!" 

Logan sat down next to him and put a hand on his shoulder, "It's going to be alright, Remus. None of us can die."

Patton wiped a tear from his eye, "I hope you're right."

Logan paused, "I hope so too."

"So what do we do now?" Asked Roman. 

Logan stared at the ground, "I have no idea. If we go back we could very well end up like him, but if we don't. . . " 

"He won't die, right?" Patton asked. "I mean, none of us have been able to die before." 

Logan didn't answer him. Instead he stood up, "Let's get going. We could all use some sleep." 

Then Roman stumbled. Logan caught him before he could fall and carefully lowered him to the ground. 

Patton rushed to him, "Are you okay? What happened?" 

Roman looked just as confused as everyone else, "I. . . I don't know. Something's wrong with the imagination. It's like. . . " He closed his eyes for a second, then opened them again. "I don't know where Virgil is. It's like he's everywhere, but also. . . Also nowhere?" He put his head in his hands. "I don't know what's going on." 

Logan stared at him for a second. "Let's just go. Maybe you need sleep." 

Roman nodded, slowly standing up. "Yeah. Yeah maybe that's it." 

The four of them began their slow walk out of the imagination. Remus purposefully fell behind. _I need to go back to Janus. We can't just leave him._ He glanced around, looking for an escape route, but before he could do anything he felt Logan's hand on his shoulder. 

"Don't even think about it."

Remus tried to smile innocently, "What? I wasn't thinking about anything!" 

"You were gonna sneak off to find Janus."

It took Remus a moment to answer. "Well what am I supposed to do?" He finally said. "I can't just leave him." 

"You have to. There's nothing stopping Virgil from doing the same thing to you that he did with him." 

"I could sneak in and get him out."

"You can't. You saw how fast Virgil could move." 

Remus sighed, "But I. . . " 

"I know you're worried, but there's nothing we can do at the moment." 

Remus glanced at him, "Just tell me he's okay Logan, please."

Logan didn't meet his eyes, "I hope so."


	2. Developments

Janus woke up on the floor of a cave. He tried to sit up, and winced as he felt a shooting pain in his chest. He touched his hand to it. There was a hole in his shirt and beneath that. . . Was that spider silk? _Odd._

He slowly sat up, trying to ignore the pain, and took in his surroundings. The cave looked the same as it had before he had first gotten there. The only difference was that instead of evergreen trees outside of the entrance, there was now a lush rainforest. 

"The cave moves around." He realized.

He heard a soft hissing coming from somewhere in the cave. _Ah. So I'm not alone._ Virgil was crouching in a corner, still in his spidery form, glaring at him with all eight of his lamplike eyes. 

"Hello." Janus tried. "Are you going to apologize for stabbing me?" 

He got no answer. 

Janus frowned, "You can't talk, can you?" 

Slowly Virgil nodded. 

"Interesting." Janus bit back a snarky remark. It was probably best not to anger the giant humanoid spider. 

He glanced out of the entrance of the cave, "I don't suppose you're going to let me leave." 

In response, a string of spider silk shot out of Virgil's wrist and wound itself around Janus's ankle. 

"I guess that answers that." Janus muttered. 

Virgil continued glaring at him. 

"Is glaring your favorite activity?"

Virgil rolled his eyes. With his eight eyes it looked like his entire face was doing a cartwheel. Then he stood up and walked away from Janus, farther into the cave. 

"You know I'm quite hungry." Janus called after him. "It's not nice to starve your kidnapped guests whom you stabbed."

Virgil disregarded his question, and kept walking farther into the cave. After a moment Janus decided to follow him. He found Virgil sitting in a far corner of his cave, picking at the hem of his shirt. 

"Nice cave." Janus commented. 

Virgil glared at him. Then suddenly pain washed over Janus and he stumbled. He would've fallen, but Virgil, who was suddenly right in front of him, caught him. He then proceeded to drop him to the ground. 

Janus glared up at him, "Thanks." 

Virgil shrugged and went back to his corner. 

"So how long have I been here?" 

Virgil pointed at the wall next to him. There were six scratch marks in a row. _Days,_ Janus realized. 

"You were gone for four days, which means I was here for two." 

Virgil nodded. 

"You know that they're all worried, right? Especially Patton." 

Virgil didn't answer him. 

"If you would just come back- " 

Virgil raised one of his spider legs in warning. 

"Right, right. Don't wanna get stabbed again. I'll shut up." 

Virgil nodded. 

Janus tried to read his expression, but failed. _I wonder if anyone is looking for me._

* * *

Remus was knocking on Roman's door. Or not exactly knocking, more banging as loudly as physically possible. 

Roman opened the door, looking like he was ready to commit mass murder. "What?" 

Remus pouted, "Is that a way to greet your dear brother?" 

"Yes. Now what do you want?" 

Remus sighed, "Well, since you're being so rude, I guess I'll just get to the point. It's been two days and we still haven't searched for Janus. I want to find him, and I know you want Virgil back, so help me." 

Roman stared at him, "You want me to help you find Janus." 

"And Virgil." 

"Right." Roman stepped out of his room. "Then let's go." 

Remus hadn't thought that it would be that easy. His whole plan to convince him had just gone to waste. "You're actually gonna help me? I didn't think you would." 

Roman rolled his eyes, "I don't care about what happens to Janus, but I do want to find Virgil. So come on." 

Roman led him down a few hallways until they finally reached a door. 

"Is this how you get into your side of the imagination?" Remus asked. 

Roman didn't answer, and instead rested his palm on the front of the door. After a moment it swung open. 

Remus nodded in appreciation, "Neat." 

The two brothers walked through the door. Almost immediately, Roman stumbled. 

"You good?" Asked Remus, making no move to help him. 

Roman glared up at him from the ground, "Yeah. Thanks for the assist." 

"No problem." Remus sat down next to him. "So can you sense them?" 

Roman shook his head, "No. Everything's spinning." 

"Huh. That's not good." 

"Thanks Captain Obvious." 

"Hey, no problem." 

Roman tried to focus, "It's like he's distorted. Or blurry. I can't pinpoint him." 

"Then where do we go?" 

Roman managed to stand up without falling, and brushed himself off. "Maybe we should check where we found him last time." 

After what seemed hours of getting lost, they got to the place where they had first found Virgil. But instead of the cave that had been there just two days ago, there was now an empty clearing. 

"Are you sure it was here?" Remus asked.

"Yes, I'm sure, Remus." 

"So where is it?" 

Roman walked around the clearing a few times, "I got it!"

"Got what?"

"You know how Virgil kept moving? Maybe that was the cave." 

Remus crossed his arms, "Then he could be anywhere." 

"Exactly. Which means we look for them the old fashioned way." 

"Walking in random directions?" 

"Yes." 

They searched for hours with no luck. Ever so often Roman would think they were getting close, and every time he was wrong. After the fifth or so false alarm, Remus just sighed and sat down on the ground. 

"We're not gonna find them." 

Roman grabbed his hand and pulled him up. "Shut up. We will." 

"Right. Because we've had so much luck so far." 

Roman glared at him, "You're starting to sound like Janus." 

Remus stared at the ground at the mention of his friend. After a moment he glanced back at Roman, "Do you think he'll be okay?" 

"Why should I know?"

Remus sighed, "Yeah. I guess none of us know." He stared into the clearing. "I really hope he's okay."

* * *

Janus was getting used to sleeping on the floor of the cave. He didn't know whether that was a good thing or not. The first night he had woken up about ten times, which hadn't been too restful. But the second night had been better. He had only woken up three times. 

Janus sat up in his pile of spider webs. Yes, spider webs. That was better than sleeping on a stone floor. He glanced around, now where was Virgil? He tried to stand up but immediately regretted it as pain washed over him. He barely stopped himself from falling over. _I guess my stab wound isn't as healed as I thought._

That was when Virgil came slowly walking (walking? Crawling? Scuttling? Janus had no idea.) into the area of the cave where Janus had been sleeping. He proceeded to hiss at him. 

"Yeah, yeah, I'm getting up." Muttered Janus. "My head is just spinning a little."

Virgil, of course, didn't respond. 

"You know, I would probably feel better if I had some food." 

To his surprise, Virgil produced a small leather sack from one of his hoodie pockets and threw it at him. Janus caught it. He opened it to find it full of red berries. 

He frowned, "Are these for me?" 

Virgil rolled his eyes. 

"Thank you." Janus was about to eat them, but after a moment of consideration, decided to try something. He slowly took a step towards Virgil. He didn't get stabbed, so he took another. When he was about two feet away, Virgil raised one of his spider legs in warning. "Right. I won't come any closer." 

Janus sat down and held out the bag of berries. "You should have some." 

Virgil shook his head. 

Janus rolled his eyes, "Come on. When's the last time you've eaten?" 

Virgil shrugged. 

"Exactly. Now take some. I won't eat any until you do." 

Virgil glared at him, but slowly took a singular berry. 

"There you go." Janus took some for himself and placed the bag between them. "You can take as many as you want." 

Virgil tilted his head and frowned at him. 

"What? I'm the self care person, remember? This is my job." 

Virgil shrugged and hesitantly took another berry. They continued like that for a few minutes. Eating the berries while Janus made various comments and Virgil gave his weird looks. 

"So," Janus asked after some time, "Can you turn back to your usual form?" 

Virgil didn't answer him, instead staring at the berry in his hand. 

"So you're stuck then." Janus guessed. 

Virgil didn't look at him. 

"Have you tried turning back?" 

Virgil glanced up at him, and Janus saw something new in his eyes. Instead of anger or bored indifference, he looked more like a cornered animal. Scared and trapped. 

"Of course you have. You don't want to stay like that." 

Virgil stood up, and walked deeper into the cave until he was out of sight. 

"Interesting." Janus muttered. He glanced at the entrance of the cave. _I could leave if I wanted to._ But for some reason he didn't. _Stockholm Syndrome perhaps?_ He thought absentmindedly. 

* * *

It was the third day that Janus was in that cave, and it was getting quite boring. He glanced up at Virgil, who was glaring at him as usual. 

"Wanna play a game or something?" 

The glaring continued. Janus sighed. He used to think that he would love it if Virgil would shut up. But now he would rather that Virgil was yelling at him then just staring with those lamplike eyes. 

"They're definitely worried about us." Janus said. "Why don't we go back?" 

Virgil shook his head. 

"Why not?"

Virgil started picking at the hem of his shirt. 

"Let's think." Janus muttered. "Why wouldn't you want to go back? Perhaps you think they're scared of you?"

Virgil froze and Janus knew that he was right. 

"So what if they are?" He asked. "The most important thing is figuring out how to get you to change back. Maybe they could help with that." 

Virgil shook his head and hissed. 

"Come on, I'm sure Remus isn't scared. He probably thinks you look really cool." 

Virgil made a screeching sound, which Janus soon realized was a laugh. He stood and walked up to Virgil. He didn't get stabbed, so he took that as an invitation to sit down. 

"So how are we going to get you to change back?" 

Virgil shrugged, and didn't meet his eyes.

"I know you're scared." 

Virgil shook his head so quickly that Janus thought it might come off. 

He laughed softly, "Don't lie to me, Virgil. I know you are." 

Virgil glanced up at him and he once again saw that cornered animal expression. 

"You feel trapped, don't you? And you're scared that you might never be able to get out." 

Virgil stared at the ground. 

"It's okay to be scared, you know." Then slowly, tentatively, Janus placed his hand on Virgil's shoulder. "We'll figure it out, I promise." 

That was when he realized that he had made a mistake. Virgil lashed out, and Janus fell backwards as a cut opened up on his cheek. 

The anger drained from Virgil's face. He scrambled away from Janus with a panic-stricken look in his eyes. Then he hid his face in his hands, and began to tremble. 

Janus slowly sat up and moved towards him, "Virgil, it's okay. It's just a little blood, nothing too bad." 

Virgil shook his head and didn't emerge. 

"That's why you don't want to go back." Janus realized. "You're afraid that you might hurt them." 

He got no answer. 

Janus reached out and slowly pulled Virgil hands away from his face, "Hey, look at me. I'm fine, see?" 

Virgil glanced up at him. There were tears streaming from his eyes, creating streaks of black eyeshadow down his face. Janur frowned, there was something different about him. Then it stuck him. Two eyes. Virgil had two eyes. 

"You're changing back." 

Virgil blinked in surprise and raised a hand to his face. A small smile danced over his lips. 

"See? You won't be stuck." Janus wiped the tears from his face. "Everything's going to be okay." 

Virgil nodded slowly. He pointed to Janus's face. 

Janus touched the cut on his cheek. There were a couple drops of blood on his fingers when he pulled them away. "I'll be fine." He said. "At least you didn't stab me this time." 

Virgil stared at the ground, and Janus silently cursed himself. 

"I was joking." He said quickly. 

Virgil reached out and placed a hand on Janus's chest, then glanced up at him and tilted his head in question. 

"It's healing fine." Janus assured him. "It barely even hurts anymore." 

Virgil nodded and pulled his hand back. Then he stood up and walked out of the cave. 

"Where are you going?" Janus called. Of course, he got no answer.


	3. Changes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Panic attack

Roman and Remus had been looking for the missing sides for the third day in a row. As usual, they hadn't had any luck. They had just left the imagination after another unsuccessful attempt, when they were cornered by Logan. 

"I know you've been looking for Virgil and Janus for the past three days." 

Roman and Remus exchanged glances. 

"Guilty as charged." Muttered Remus. "So what's the problem?" 

Logan crossed his arms, "The problem is that I doubt you've even spent a second thinking about what you'll do if you find them." 

Roman shrugged, "Well you're the smart one, you tell us what we should do." 

Logan sighed, "I would, but I don't think you'd like my answer." 

Remus raised an eyebrow at him, "And what is your answer?" 

Logan took a moment to respond, "My answer is that we can't do anything." 

The brothers stared at him. 

"We can't just sit around and do nothing." Remus said. "Janus could be getting hurt." 

"Janus has already been hurt." Logan argued. "And if we interfere, we might be as well." 

Remus laughed, "Right, so we just don't do anything? Just wait for Virgil to do something worse?" 

Roman glared at him, "Stop blaming Virgil, we have to help him too." 

"We can't." Logan said simply. 

Roman blinked, "What?" 

"Janus is the cause for this." Logan said simply. "Which means he's also the solution. He's the only person who'll be able to have any effect on Virgil." 

Roman stared at him, "What about Patton? He's all happy and sunshiny. I'm sure he'll be able to help." 

"He won't." Logan stated. "You saw how he was in that cave. He was terrified. He won't be able to help anything." 

Remus shook his head, "No, no, no. We can't just leave Janus." He glanced at Roman. "Right? I mean, come on, I'm sure Patton of all people can't be agreeing to this." 

"He agreed." Logan confirmed. "But he sees that we have no other choice." 

Remus glared at him, "Whatever." Then he stormed off. 

* * *

The next day Remus knocked on Roman's door like he usually did. 

Roman opened the door, "Oh. It's you."

Remus rolled his eyes, "Of course it's me. Now come on, it's searching time."

Roman didn't meet his eyes, "About that, Remus. I've been thinking about what Logan said." 

Remus stared at him, "You can't possibly be agreeing with that. I mean, I know you don't like Janus, but you wouldn't just leave Virgil." 

Roman didn't meet his eyes, "But. . . It's not like we've had any luck finding them."

Remus couldn't believe what he was hearing. _No. I can't find them by myself. I barely know Roman's side of the imagination._ "But- but you're supposed to be a prince." Remus stammered. "You're supposed to be good. You can't just leave them." 

"I. . . " Roman sighed. "Remus, we have to. Finding them won't help." 

Remus shook his head. "No. You're wrong." 

"Remus, please. If we find Virgil he'll probably just stab us like he did with Janus." 

Remus laughed bitterly, "That's all you care about. You getting hurt." 

Roman blinked, "What? No, I care about- "

"Virgil. Yeah. Just you and Virgil. Not Janus, not me, just him. Well good for you, Roman, but I actually care about what happens to him. For all we know he could be dead, or hurt, or lost in the imagination somewhere." 

Roman stared at him, "Remus, I- " 

"You know, maybe Janus was right. Maybe you really are the evil twin." 

Roman looked like he had been slapped across the face. 

Remus looked away from him, "Fine. I don't need your help. I'll find them myself." And then he was gone. 

Turns out he was wrong. He did need Roman's help. After an hour or so of searching, he was lost. 

_I don't know how to get out of here._ He sat down in front of a large tree. _What was I thinking, going here without Roman? I don't know how to get around._ He stared at the dense forest surrounding him. _I'm lost. I'm completely lost. I'll never find Janus._

He still couldn't get the scene out of his head. Janus crumpling lifelessly to the floor in front of Virgil. _What if he's hurt even more now? What if. . ._ Images started to flash through his head. All the different horrible possibilities. _He could be hurt, he could be alone, he could be-_ Remus felt his breathing start to quicken. _No, no, no, not now._ He heard himself think. But it didn't stop. He felt like a hand was closing around his throat, stopping him from breathing. His heart was pounding so hard he thought it might break. 

He sat there trembling for what seemed like hours. Finally, his breathing started to slow. He wiped the tears from his face. _I'm fine. It's going to be fine._ He looked around. _I just need to focus on getting out of here._

_But Janus. . ._

Then he heard someone calling his name, and Roman walked in to view. 

"Remus! There you are!" Roman rushed over to him. 

Remus stared at him, "What are you doing here? I thought you didn't want to help."

"Yeah, but I thought you might have gotten lost." 

"Oh." 

Roman frowned at him, "Are you okay? You look kind of shaken." 

Remus tried for a smile, "I'm fine."

"Yeah that's a lie. What's going on?" 

Remus waved him away, "Nothing. It doesn't matter." He stood up. "How about you show me how to get out of here." 

Roman still didn't look like he believed him, but he agreed nonetheless, and they began their walk out of the imagination. 

_I really hope Janus is okay._

* * *

Janus, as it turned out, was fine. Him and Virgil were currently sharing a bag of berries. 

"Where do you keep finding these?" Janus asked. 

Virgil simply shrugged and grabbed another one. 

"So I was thinking," Janus continued, "You already started to change back. What caused it?" 

Another shrug. 

"Maybe you need to stab me again." 

Virgil glared at him. 

"Fine, no stabbing." 

They continue eating their berries in silence. 

Then, Janus spoke again. "Why don't we leave? If you're starting to turn back, then maybe the others can help at this point." 

Virgil shook his head. 

"I know you're scared of hurting them, but staying away might be hurting them more."

Virgil glanced up at him, then slowly reached out and touched the cut on Janus's face. 

Janus took his hand and moved it away, "I'm fine. It doesn't hurt anymore." 

Virgil stared down at their hands, then looked up and pointed at the exit of the cave. 

Janus stared at him, "What?" 

Virgil nodded his head towards the exit.

"You. . . You want me to leave." 

Virgil nodded, and Janus could practically feel his heart break. "Why? Why would. . . Virgil, you can't be serious." 

Virgil wouldn't meet his eyes. He nodded again. 

"But- I- " 

Virgil pulled Janus up and gently pushed him towards the exit. 

Janus grabbed his hand, "No, I'm not leaving." 

Virgil pulled his hand away and pushed him again. 

"Why do you want me to leave?" 

Another push. 

"Stop." Janus grabbed his arms, stopping him from pushing him again. "I'm not leaving you." 

Virgil shook his head and tried to pull his arms away. He gave Janus a desperate look. 

"I'm not going anywhere, Virgil." 

Virgil raised two of his spider legs and aimed them at him. 

"I'm not going anywhere." Janus repeated. 

He was greated with a glare. 

Janus sighed, then reached out and cupped Virgil's face in his hands. "Virgil, listen to me. I know you're scared, but please, don't push me away. It won't work. I'm not leaving unless you come with me, and there's nothing you can do about it."

Virgil stared at him. There was a very obvious question in his eyes. Why? 

Janus shrugged, "I don't know why. But know that I want to help you. I just need you to let me. Please." 

Virgil's eyes didn't look away from him for several moments. Then slowly, he nodded. 

Janus smiled, "There you go." Then carefully, he pulled Virgil into a hug. "It's going to be okay." He said. 

And for once, Virgil believed him. He started to tremble, and after a moment, Janus realized that he was crying. The two of them sat on the floor, Virgil quietly sobbing in Janus's arms, and the cave dissolved around them. Virgil's spider legs disappeared, and Janus felt him relax. 

"Virgil." Janus pulled away from him and looked into his now brown eyes. "You're back." 

Virgil smiled slightly, "Hey, Janus." He said. Then he passed out. 


	4. Happy Endings

Janus was in the middle of the imagination with an unconscious Virgil for what seemed like hours. He wasn't strong enough to carry him back, and even if he could, he had no idea where they were. After hours of pacing, he finally heard a voice. 

"Janus? Janus!" 

He turned just in time to see Remus rushing at him, and then he was enveloped in a bone crushing hug. 

"Hello, Remus." He said with a smile. 

Remus let go of him and help him out at arms length, "Are you okay? You have a cut on your face. Where's Virgil?" 

"Yes, I am aware of that, and right here." Janus pointed at the ground next to him. 

Roman, who Janus hadn't noticed till then, rushed up to them and crouched down next to Virgil. "Is he okay?" He glared up at Janus. "What did you do?" 

Janus's eyes turned cold. "I'm the only reason he's not a giant humanoid spider, Roman. How about you actually think before accusing me, for once?" 

Roman went very quiet. 

Remus glanced down at Virgil, "But is he okay?" 

Janus's expression softened, "I hope so. He's been through a lot." 

"So have you." 

Janus frowned, as if the thought hadn't occurred to him. "I suppose." 

Remus crossed his arms, "You were stabbed, Janus. I wouldn't exactly call that a walk in the park." 

"Perhaps." Janus looked back at Virgil's unconscious form. "How about we just focus on getting back?" 

Roman picked up Virgil in his arms, "For once you're right." 

The four of them got back to the main part of the mindscape with no issues. As soon as Patton saw them he let out a squeal and crushed Janus in a hug, and for some reason Logan looked oddly guilty. Janus had no idea why. They decided that it was probably best to let Virgil rest, rather than wake him, so they had laid him down on the bed in his room (which Logan and Patton had apparently fixed while Virgil and Janus had been gone). Then Patton said something about making cookies for when Virgil woke up, Logan muttered some excuse and basically ran to his room, and Roman had said that he needed rest. So it left Remus and Janus alone, sitting next to Virgil's bed together. 

Janus gently took Virgil's hand, which Remus thought was an oddly affectionate gesture. 

"So what did happen in the imagination?" Remus asked him. 

Janus stared down at Virgil. "It's not my story to tell exactly." 

Remus shrugged, "I mean, it kind of is." 

"No. He's the one who had it hardest of all." 

Remus stared at him, "Janus, he stabbed you." 

Janus laughed softly, "I suppose." 

Remus shook his head in disbelief, "You're really confusing." 

"Why, thank you." 

Neither of them spoke for a moment. "You know," said Remus, "You should probably go rest." 

Janus shook his head, "I want to be here when he wakes up." 

"Who knows when that will be." Remus elbowed him softly. "You need to take care of yourself. You know you have dried blood all over your shirt, right?" 

"Yes, I am aware." Janus made no motion to leave. 

Remus sighed, "Janus, you're the one who's always preaching self care. Don't be a hypocrite." 

"But- " 

"Go rest. I'll watch him." 

Janus's eyes rested on Virgil for a moment. "You'll get me if anything happens?" 

"Of course. Now shoo!" 

"Alright, alright." And with one more glance at Virgil, he was gone.

* * *

Virgil woke to find all five of the other sides surrounding him. 

He was immediately pulled into a hug by Roman. "You're awake!" 

"Can't breathe." Virgil gasped. 

Roman let go of him, "Sorry, sorry. I'm just excited." 

Patton smiled at him, "How are you feeling?" 

Virgil slowly sat up, "Well, I don't have giant spider legs attached to me anymore, so I guess that's good." 

Remus shrugged, "I mean, they were pretty cool." 

Virgil glanced around at all of them, and slowly his eyes landed on Janus, who sat at the foot of his bed. He looked well rested, and his shirt no longer had blood on it. Then Virgil saw the thin scar that ran across his cheek, and he felt a pang of guilt. Janus, on the other hand, gave him a small smile. 

"Do you want a cookie?" 

Virgil looked up to see Patton holding one out to him. "Oh, yeah. Sure." He took it and nibbled at the edge. "So how long was I out?" 

"About a day." Answered Janus. 

Virgil nodded. 

Roman handed him a glass of water, "Here. Your throat sounds scratchy." 

"Yeah, not talking for ten days could do that." Virgil muttered. He took the water and took a sip. It didn't help much. 

Then Logan, who hadn't said a thing till then, finally spoke. "I think I should apologize." 

Everyone turned to him. 

"Apologize?" Asked Virgil. "For what?" 

Logan searched for the right words, "I have realized that the plan that I had made may have been slightly heartless." 

Virgil and Janus both had no idea what he was talking about, but the rest of the sides had knowing looks on their faces.

"Go on." Promoted Virgil. 

"After we found you the first time," Logan continued, "I said that we shouldn't look for either you or Janus. I thought that it would be pointless because even if we found you two, there would have probably been nothing we could do. Janus seemed to be the one you were mad at, so I decided to leave the situation to him." Logan paused. "In short, I abandoned both of you, and I'm sorry for that." 

Both Virgil and Janus stared at him. Then Janus laughed. 

Logan frowned, "I don't see what could possibly be funny."

Janus shrugged, "The funny thing is that you were right, Logan. So you have no reason to apologize." 

Virgil nodded, "He's not wrong. If any of you had interfered. . . " His voice died. "Well, you saw what I did to Janus. Who knows what could've happened." 

Logan didn't look convinced. 

"So that's why no one found us." Janus said. "I was starting to wonder why no one showed up." 

Roman and Remus exchanged glances. "Well, yes and no." Roman said. 

Janus frowned, "Explain." 

"Remus and I were looking for you." Roman began. "But for some reason I couldn't locate either of you, everything was almost. . . I don't know, blurry. It was weird."

Virgil looked confused, "But you did find us, didn't you? I mean, how else did we end up here?" 

"Well, yeah." Said Roman. "Remus and I were in the imagination- " 

"Having a panic attack." Remus interrupted. 

Roman blinked, "You had a what?"

"Nothing, go on." 

Janus made a mental note to ask Remus about that later. 

"Right. So when we were there suddenly everything got clearer, and then we were able to find you." 

Janus thought for a moment, "I think Virgil being in his spider form was interfering with your abilities in the imagination." 

"But then why didn't it happen earlier?" Remus asked. 

Janus shrugged, "Well that's anyone's guess." 

"Perhaps because you didn't want to be found." 

Everyone once again turned to Logan. 

He shrugged, "That would make sense, wouldn't it? You probably didn't want to be found beforehand, but when you stabbed Janus, that feeling probably doubled."

Virgil stared down at the cookie that he was still holding. "Maybe." After a moment he glanced up. "Can I talk to Janus alone?" 

Roman looked like he was about to protest, but before he could, Patton was dragging him away. Logan followed them, and after giving Janus a worried look, Remus did as well. 

They were alone for a moment before Virgil spoke. "I'm sorry." 

"Don't be." 

Virgil blinked, "But I- " 

"Yes, but I don't think you were fully in control." 

Virgil stared at him. 

"Am I correct?" 

Virgil nodded. 

Janus moved over to sit next to him, "You know you can talk now, right?" 

Virgil blinked, "Right. It's just weird communicating with you verbally." 

"Isn't it?" Janus took his hand. "But enough about that. How are you feeling?"

A small smile tugged at the corner of Virgil's lips. "So much better." Then whatever happinesses or relief that had been there faded. "Can I tell you something?" 

"Go ahead." 

"I didn't want to say it in front of the others, but. . . " Virgil couldn't find the words for a moment. "It was terrifying." He said simply. "I felt so trapped. I couldn't speak, I was barely in control of what I was doing. Then I hurt you, and I kept thinking, what if I did something worse? What if- " his voice broke. 

Janus squeezed his hand, "It's okay." 

Virgil pushed his hand away, "Stop saying that! It's not okay, and it never will be! I stabbed you Janus! And then you tried to help me and I. . . " He cupped Janus's face in his hands and ran his thumb along the scar on his cheek. "And then I did that. What if it never goes away? Then you'll have a constant reminder- " 

"I don't mind." 

Virgil sighed, "Why don't you mind? How are you so unaffected?" 

Janus shrugged, "Because in the end, it wasn't completely you. I know you would never do that normally." 

"Wouldn't I?" Virgil glanced away from him. "I hated you, Janus. I- " 

"I know." 

Virgil glared at him, "What if it happens again? Then what?" 

"We already fixed it once, so we'll do it again." 

"And what if we can't? What if. . . " Virgil faltered. "What if I'm stuck like that forever?"

Janus shrugged, "Even if you are, I'll still be here." 

Virgil laughed bitterly, "Sure you would. If I was barely in control? If I couldn't talk? If I- "

That was when Janus kissed him, and suddenly everything made sense. 

Janus pulled away and smiled, "Shut up." He said with no malice at all. "I'm not leaving you, no matter what." 

Virgil stared at him. "You- I- oh." 

"Eloquent." 

Virgil glared at him, "You're the cause of this, you idiot."

"Right. So do my actions and words make sense now?" 

"Definitely." He paused. "Sorry about being a jerk to you for years." 

"We were both jerks. So it cancels out." 

"Yeah, I don't think that's how it works." 

Janus shrugs, "Who knows? Certainly not me." 

Virgil nodded, "Right. But back to more important matters." 

"Oh?" 

"You need to kiss me again." 

Janus laughed softly, "Of course." 

* * *

There were a few lasting effects of the entire event. For one, Virgil's eyes would sometimes flash to purple when he was angry or especially anxious. He also retained the ability to shoot webs from his wrists, which caused Roman to give him several new nicknames. But mostly, Virgil just noticed how it had affected everyone else. He noticed the guilty expression on Logan's face whenever it was brought up, he noticed Patton almost apologetically not meeting his eyes whenever his fear of spiders was brought up, and most of all he noticed Remus. He noticed how even though Virgil and Janus were now dating, Remus had gotten extremely protective of the latter. Everytime Virgil's eyes would flash to purple he would move slightly in front of Janus, as if he was scared that Virgil would hurt him again. 

Virgil was scared of the same thing. 

He would barely admit it, but he had a constant fear that something would happen. That he would lose control again. Seeing the scar on Janus's face that hadn't faded didn't help matters. He still had nightmares where he was once again trapped in that cold, spidery shell. The images of Janus's shocked face when he had stabbed him would replay over and over again in his head. Guilt. Crushing guilt would overcome him sometimes. But of course, Janus would notice every time it did. He would hold Virgil, and tell him that everything was fine that he had nothing to be scared of, and sometimes he would believe him. But usually not. 

In the end, everyone, except for maybe Janus, was wondering the same thing. What if it happened again? What would they do? Perhaps they would never find out. Or perhaps they would. 


End file.
